Tuesday, 6 August 2013

Three Things A Woman Should Never Do When Wearing High Heeled Platform Shoes

Much has been said and written about the perils of wearing high Platform Shoes and the apparent ease with which women fall off them. As a RoSa Shoes High Stiletto Platform wearer, I've thought about this quite a lot.



I must start by saying that, if Platform Wearing is approached in the right spirit, in the right circumstances, and with the right amount of care, the risks really are minimal, with the benefits far outweighing any perceived danger.  "You have to say that" I hear you cry... well, yes, of course, I do want people to buy and enjoy my RoSa Stiletto Platforms, but I also speak from long experience.  (Oy oy, not that long!)


I've come to realise that there are clear similarities between Platform Shoe Wearing and other extreme urban movement forms - Parkour, Free-Jumping, or l'Art du D├ęplacement for instance.  Whilst there are differences between all these forms (the main one being that Platform Wearing is the only one, as far as I know, where the participants wear high heels), they all embrace the same spirit of adventure, they all require (and help develop) physical and mental discipline and strength, and they are all aesthetically pleasing (well, I know which one I prefer but hey! whatever rocks your boat....)


But one wouldn't set off to swing and jump one's way through the urban jungle without observing certain rules.  From an experienced Platform Wearer, here are the three main "Don'ts":

 1. Don't get "off your face" on artificial stimulants (without an arm to hold, preferably belonging to someone who is not also "off their face" or wearing platform shoes).



2. Don't walk on rough pavings (without an arm to hold, ditto above).


3. Don't walk in badly lit areas (without ditto).

Oh and, if you do really have to do all three, here's a fourth - don't walk out of a nightclub or restaurant late at night into a deafening horde of paparazzi yelling and whooping and disorientating you with their camera flashlights, so that you stagger and fall forwards and end up all over the media the next day with the press mercilessly laying into you for stupidly wearing Platforms you can't manage, when of course things would go so much better without their mindless bloodsucking interference. (If you've watched the recent video footage of Helen Flanagan's fall from her "Louboutins" , you'll know what I mean) -



Woops!

Remember these things, and you'll be ok.